[et_pb_section fb_built="1" theme_builder_area="post_content" _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default"][et_pb_row _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" theme_builder_area="post_content"][et_pb_column _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" type="4_4" theme_builder_area="post_content"][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" theme_builder_area="post_content" hover_enabled="0" sticky_enabled="0"]<h1 style="text-align: center;">How to photograph your new puppy</h1>[/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version="4.25.1" _module_preset="default" theme_builder_area="post_content" hover_enabled="0" sticky_enabled="0"]<p>How To Photograph A New Puppy<br />Author unknown</p>
<p>1. Remove film from box and load camera</p>
<p>2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash</p>
<p>3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle</p>
<p>4. Choose a suitable background for photo</p>
<p>5. Mount camera on tripod and focus</p>
<p>6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth</p>
<p>7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera</p>
<p>8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees</p>
<p>9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with the other hand</p>
<p>10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens</p>
<p>11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash</p>
<p>12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose</p>
<p>13. Put magazines back on coffee table</p>
<p>14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head</p>
<p>15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage</p>
<p>16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by the scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside! !"</p>
<p>17. Call spouse to clean up mess</p>
<p>18. Fix a drink</p>
<p>19. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.</p>[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column][/et_pb_row][/et_pb_section]